Point of View VII: Understand

Everybody tells me I've got a temper.

Hell, I know that.

I just dismembered a practice dummy with my sai for cripes sake!

Fuck. Better clean this up before Sensei sees or he's gonna tear me a new one. I ain't in the mood for another lecture today.

Yeah, I should have known better than to think that he'd let me get off scot-free after I stormed out of the kitchen. Stupid wishful thinking on my part. I didn't even make it halfway across the lair before he ordered me into his room.

I hate being in there. It stinks of nasty ass incense. How the hell anyone can meditate with that crap burning is beyond me. Personally, I'd be too focused on trying not to choke and die on the damn smoke.

My eyes were watering so much, I could barely keep them open. As if that weren't bad enough, I was sweating bullets 'cause Splinter' got it so damn hot in there. Sure didn't improve my attitude when I felt like I could pass out any second from lack of oxygen.

He asked me why I always gotta get so angry. He always asks me that. Don't know why. My answer never changes.

I just do.

He always sighs when I say that. Then he tells me that I ain't dealing with it in a healthy way.

Well, if he's so damn smart, why the fuck doesn't he teach me the right way to deal with it? Ain't that what dads are supposed to do? Help their kids figure shit out?

Instead he just stands there and demands to know why I don't have the same level of self-control as Leonardo.

Why can't I be as disciplined as Leonardo? Why can't be as responsible as Leonardo? Why can't I think things through like Leonardo? Why can't I get along with Leonardo? Why can't I listen to Leonardo? Why can't I learn to obey Leonardo? Why can't I show respect for Leonardo?

Leonardo this…

…and Leonardo that…

Leo.

Leo.

Leo.

Leo.

Leo!

Fuck Leo!

You'd think the sun shines out of his ass the way Splinter goes on about him!

Why does everything always have to be about Fearless and how he's so damn perfect? What about me? How come the only time I ever get noticed is when I do something that upsets the great and powerful leader?

Don't I matter?

I ain't ever gonna be Leo. I'm only ever gonna be me.

Why can't Splinter understand that?