Point of View XIV: Guilty

I didn't want to tell Master Splinter.

No, I had every intention of keeping the incident in the garage between you and me.

Maybe if you hadn't lost your temper and punched me in the face I wouldn't have had to explain why my lip was busted open.

I can't lie to Sensei. I won't even try. He always finds out the truth one way or another. You should be well aware of that fact by now, Raphael.

Splinter wasn't happy. He expected me to have resolved this by now, not let it get worse. I've disappointed him again.

When he ordered you into his room, you immediately gave me the evil eye. If looks could kill, I'd be six feet under. I didn't need to hear you speak to know what you were thinking.

Tattle-tale…Splinter Junior…and any combination of your overused curse words.

I could sense every bit of the hate that you have for me in just that one look. That hurt more than any physical blow you've landed on me.

And yet, as you followed Splinter out of the dojo, I felt like I owed you an apology. For what, I don't know...

…Telling Sensei everything that happened?

…Getting into another fight with you?

…All the horrible things I've said to you in the last couple of days?

…Failing you as a leader?

…Not being the brother you need me to be?

I'm sorry, Raph. You can't possibly imagine how guilty I'm feeling right now.

This is not how I wanted us to be…always at each other's throats...fighting over the most trivial things….stuck in a never-ending competition with one another.

I don't understand why we are the way we are.

Is it too much for us to be friends?

Or is that wishful thinking on my part?